Love Me Now!

“I don’t know who’s gonna love you when I’m gone,so I’m gonna love you now” Those are some of the lyrics of John Legend’s “Love me now” song which I looove! Goodness! I don’t have a favourite of John Legend’s because I always cry to every love song, “All of me” will forever be an ages, timeless love song, “You and I” I think I sing everyday lol “Sure fire” is humming in my head haha! We love you John Legend!

I was caught up in one of my thought patterns, I was just thinking of what colour braid to braid next,blue was on my mind and I just said “goodness I’ll be happier that way” then God right there stopped me and said “Why can’t you be happy now?” To make it funny he made me sing love me now that particular line to myself lol!! PS: God is the Lord Jesus Christ who is the HolySpirit. Nowadays everyone has weird notions of who they think God is,so it’s good I clarify even for future posts’ sake.

Anyway why is it that we struggle with being and loving where we are,who we are? And I mean we are constantly changing and learning but why is it so so so hard to be content with our present circumstances without longing for a perceived idea of happiness or relief in the next place or next job or next outfit or next boyfriend or next husband?

Is it because we haven’t learnt to be content?Don’t get me wrong it’s not wrong to desire say * the next* or want to get out of your present situation I’m not saying that,it’s human to do that I believe. But why don’t we just settle and say “I will love me or this now” and be completely fine with it?

Is it linked to self acceptance? Is it that we don’t appreciate our negatives and positives? Are we constantly longing to “become better” and we forget our “bad” is just an opportunity for God to work on and this takes a lifetime so I’ll do myself a favour and just love the bad but also work with God and how he leads me.Hmm…

I just thought about this deeply: God loves me perfectly. This means He doesn’t change his love towards me based on myself. He has seen it all.Even when I sometimes feel He has had enough of me,it doesn’t change HIS LOVE.Then that should be my standard!!! I should love me like that, or atleast try!God wants us to enjoy every single season we are in even the toughest ones and to find peace in them.Ask James and John lol (James 1 tells us to count it all Joy when we go through trials of many kinds,that’s crazy.But God said we are a peculiar people Hahaha so punny! John 16 Jesus says my peace I give to you,not as the world gives meaning a peace that only comes when things go your way or are okay, but as I(Jesus) give.This is possible.

Everyone is going through a struggle of their kind. You’re never the only one who’s overwhelmed with your life.So appreciate yourself even though you desperately want to change. No one is born walking, unless your Johnie Walker or Texas ranger lol!

Write down your greatest struggle. It could be jealousy or hate or unforgiveness or lust whatever.Then as difficult as it may be to face that part of yourself that you don’t address often or give justifications to,and say this aloud *I have this or I struggle with this, but God loves me :)*

That’s feels so good,doesn’t it?It doesn’t justify your sin but it just shows you that inspite of that, God loves you.When we know how much we are loved,we change not because of compulsion but simply because of love.And that ladies and gentlemen is Grace and Love.Quit beating on yourself. Embrace You knowing that God loves you.Rest in his grace knowing He’s a good shepherd who prunes and comforts, leads and guides and disciplines and loves altogether.

From love with Love,

Through me to you,

Okay bye! :O


Roses and Graveyards

Why do we seek

For roses in graveyards

We want lilies from mausoleums

Bury your dead,they say

But for me

I want my roses from the graves

I often seemed to plant a little too much

It seemed I planted seeds,a little too many

That bloomed to flower gardens

But sadly I planted them on graveyards

I left my name encripted on epitaphs

A little too many

You want your roses back? They ask?

Yes,because I deserve to reap where I sowed

But you cannot get your roses from the graves


I am a rose

Peradventure I will reap gardens

But I have made the graveyard a beautiful place

I may try not to plant on graveyards this time

But on prairies perhaps

Just maybe…

#Dedication for all those who do good but it doesn’t seem to come back,and those who’ve given their love but were left broken hearted



I wake up

To the ghosts of my past

Haunting me everyday

I try to swim away

But they keep drowning me

In the tears And sorrows of yesterday

I keep trying to fight

To live to see another day

But they keep pulling me

Back to my horrors

And ooh the flaws

The mistakes

The lies I make


From a troubled conscience

An unsatisfied mind

A wondering heart

Troubled peace

Still storms

Rattled thoughts


.Wake up and face your ghosts

You may never get over them

………..But you certainly don’t have to live with them


Hello guys!! It’s May!!! There’s something about May that just makes me think about summer and flowers, sunsets and yellow! Boy Oh Boy!! Good vibes!

My vision,goal,mission, mantra, desire for this month is to bloom!!It is time!!! Dust off those plans,goals and get to work now!!Get over your pitypartying and do it! Those ideas in your mind will only materialize if you do something about them.Laziness and wishful thinking does not pay off.

Someone said, a dream without a plan is useless, well I’m not saying don’t dream! Be a dreamer but if it is worth dreaming it is worth trying and achieving!

Get rid of excuses! Try listing what you want, excuses,challenges,there’s power in writing. Habakkuk 2:2-3 says “Write the vision and make it plain on tablets,that he may run who reads it.For the vision is yet for an appointed time; but at the end it will speak, and it will not lie.Though it tarries, wait for it because it will surely come it will not tarry.” How comforting!!!

A vision however must be accompanied by action.Faith without action is dead

What is it that you love?? Do you love singing like me?? Then it’s time you make YouTube your bestie! Do you want that perfect Halle Berry body! Then download those T25 workout videos and work it!!!Do you want to be healthy?? How about setting those practical eating habits,say,reduce not instantly stop,reduce the quantity of junk you eat or whatever slowly by slowly,until your body adjusts to it.Don’t break down!! You got a long way to go!

Faith without action is dead! You’ve prayed it,now faith it and work it!!!How do I do this? The HolySpirit! He is the best friend ,motivator,reminder, followup, workout partner and more! If you haven’t received Jesus Christ,this is the time to do it. Other motivations only work but for so long!

Then you have to ask God to teach you how to motivate yourself as well.Some days you’ll wake up and feel *Let’s do this* Then other days *I don’t want to get out of bed*

It’s time! Take those baby steps that will lead to adulting!!( Why am I so smart?? Hihi!)Snail pace,tortoise pace,cheater pace,kangaroo pace! Just pace it and progress!!!

Don’t forget to celebrate progress,whether big or small aaaaand Love Yourself Through It!!

May is the new January anyway!:) 🙂

With love,

Josphine Nduati

How to make tasty doughnuts by Paula’s Happy Kitchen

Hey guys!!Saseni??

So today we are going all out on matters food!

God created all things good and all things food!!Foodies Heey!! I gaaatchuu!! Our chef today is my good friend and sister, Paula 🙂 🙂

Paula makes tasty food! I ate her chapos and I still dream about them!!! Plus she’s super simple! Her recipes are easy to make and very difficult to forget! (See what I did there!! )So let’s get on with it,shall we?

One egg
200 ml farm milk
Two medium cups of flour
One tablespoon of dry yeast.
Three tablespoons sugar
A pinch of salt
Two spoon scoops of margarine
One teaspoon cinnamon
grated lemon peelings of one green lemon,and lastly, cooking oil for deepfrying


Sieve the flour first

Then add the dry ingredients: salt, sugar, cinnamon, yeast

Mix thoroughly. Then add the lemon peelings.

Then add the margarine and mix it into the flour mixture to mash the lumps. Once done, make a small hollow at the centre and beat the egg. Mix throughout the flour.

Then finally add milk bit by bit as you knead the dough. Let it not be too light.

Keep kneading to ensure fine texture of the dough. You can use a little vegetable oil to knead and help the dough stay together.

Once done, cover for 45 minutes for the dough to rise.

Take out your risen dough, flatten it and using circular shapes, cut the bigger circle first then the smaller one on the bigger piece. Heat in preheated deep frying oil.


By the way, I made about 20 doughnuts. Very tasty. We give God all glory

Make sure to like her page on Facebook at Paula’s Happy Kitchen and on Instagram at Paula’s Happy Kitchen.

Au Revoir!! 🙂

My walk with Christ Jesus

Heey there!! Is it too late to say happy new year? I guess I’m one of those weird ones 🙂

Happy New Year 2018 anyhu! It’s quarter way into the year so yea greetings! I haven’t written since laaaaaast year,I haven’t taken the usual *breaks* that people take,neither have I been busy,no,I don’t even know why and I won’t bother trying to figure out why 🙂 🙂

I hope y’all have been well in the Lord,(echoing Paul, greetings brethren, grace and peace be multiplied) and I hope all is well

Well,I was asked to write about my walk with Christ,at first I was blaaank like plank(remember Ed Edd and Eddy) but now I’m smiling coz I got content!! Hehe!

I got saved in highschool, form 3.I remember vividly the sermon was about *the pencil parable* a sermon that was so detailed,precise, accurate and timely for me.(I’ll write about it in my next post).But in a nutshell it emphasized how apart from God we can do nothing (John 15:5)

I walked forward, said the prayer and felt a load lifted off of me.The peace that befell me was heavenly, it’s the peace God describes in Philippians 4:7

Before I delve into further details,I think Christianity is so often misunderstood, in this culture and age of emerging trends and religions, more so new age philosophies,it’s sad but that doesn’t discredit the fact that it’s true.7 I personally think the reason it’s so attacked it’s because it’s the Truth,and handling the truth is painful and requires the humility to change and adapt to it’s way.

Anyway,my walk with God since I got saved has been amazing. It has been zigzaggy! Huuuh!Yeees! I repeat, zigzaggy!! It hasn’t been smooth as is presumed. After that day which BTW is January 16th 🙂 I thought that everything would be perfect, but there was still refining to do,a lot of refining! Which can make you give up and just opt to renounce your salvation

The Lord knows how many nights I go to sleep saying *Lord I give up,I can’t do this it’s too hard* but he is faithful .In those moments he strengthens me. I have had ups and downs,but boy oh boy,giving your life to Jesus is the best thing you can ever do!

I bet probably you’re thinking Naah!!,with all these issues and stereotypes I’d rather not,or someone hurt you or someone’s behaviour annoyed you,I’ll say this, we are not followers of people but followers of Christ. Christ is perfect. We on the other hand are being perfected daily. Experience Jesus for yourself, you’re not worth second hand news of someone’s walk, try Him! He loves you! He’s waiting for you to live life with him

I’m not perfect yet(I’m gonna have to wait till that day He comes) and I can’t exhaust the nittygrities of my transformation, but one of my greatest joys is,I have a friend who is constant, and I no longer have to live a lonely life! Jesus is always there in my bad and good days till the end

Lots of love and blessings 🙂

A miracle from heaven

Good friends are angels without wings Divine friends are angels;with or without wings.
If I were to describe my friends in terms of colour,I’d say she is Yellow:She’s the sunshine in my life,her joy yand enthusiasm is unmatched. She’s also Orange: warm,lovely and welcoming and finally Red: extremely bold and sassy.

I remember last year I was going through a crisis and I was depressed.Depression is very real I’m not saying it to describe how I felt,but how I was I lost weight,felt sickly,was in this ‘hole‘ of some sorta darkness,I felt empty.

What was the problem you’d ask? I felt unsure of myself I felt insecure of myself seemingly because everyone else had it all ‘ intact‘ .Everyone just seemed to be focused and fine except moi(me)

Dont compare yourself!!! Haaaaa!! It’s never that easy.Pray then. This I did,most often in liquid form.Tears.(Psalms 56:8“You have stored my tears in a bottle and counted each one of them”

Let’s just agree that God’s ways are higher than ours.During this difficult time,God brought a miracle along the way.It was difficult as I tried to do everything,I tried doing new things just to ease the uncomfort,but I got frustrated the more.To add salt, I lived alone.Solitude.My thoughts were my companions.I had everyone but I had no one.All that stared at me was my wardrobe,bed,table,books and curtains.They didnt seem to talk(lol)

I will never forget this because afterwards I heard God whisper ‘She is the miracle I brought to you during that time’.I remember I moved in into her place,she fed me,comforted me,was always kind,she saw me cry,she saw me moody,she read with me,she prayed for me and with me,she organized the perfect birthday for me.What did I need? Nothing.I needed that.God’s love through her got me out of the depression.

This is just a tip of the iceberg.There are so many things ,actions that are engraved in my heart of hearts,that are special,talk about the patience and forbearance you have had for me.The forgiveness and willingness to continue being my friend,I don’t take any of that for granted.

So,Mercy Nzisa Mutuku Preepy,I love you very much.You are one of the greatest people I’ve ever met and I know the people who truly know you know how incredible you are.I always thank God for you and I always will.

May God bless you.To many more decades of friendship and me calling you ‘kamum’and you sending me awesome PDFs and links!!!! Love ya!!! 🙂