Acne or no Acne, I am beautiful!!

Recently, I read Kambua Manundu’s story on her struggle with Acne and how she overcame it. It was really beautiful and humbling that she would share that because sometimes we never know the hidden struggles people go through. Thanks Kambua for sharing that! 🙂

Well,I related 100%.I have had acne so I would read every word of her story and go like ‘Oh my goodness!Me too!Yeees!I know how that feels!I know you’re probably wondering what Acne is.Acne is a skin condition  that occurs when the hair follicles become clogged with dead skin cells and oil from the skin,caused by overproduction of sebum, or ‘oil’by the sebaceous glands.It is often characterized by blackheads, whiteheads, greasy skin. It is quite severe in some cases.(You can google for more info).It’s what is commonly known as ‘adolescent pimples‘.

For me,I always enjoyed smooth acne free skin until class six when suddenly pimples started appearing on my face. At first I wasn’t that scared because I knew they’d go away,but later on I started getting worried because they didn’t seem to leave.Plus talk about the self prescribed doctors who’d scare me more by telling me all manner of things;avoid fries and oily foods to chocolate;I even remember applying lemon everyday on my face,goodness!it was horrible.

Slowly it started getting to me.I remember I started avoiding people especially boys.I was always so self-conscious especially when talking to boys from my class.Mind you I was very very outgoing and confident.I loved attention.Now I started avoiding any form of attention.Then the acne spread to my arms,chest and back. I felt hopeless. I remember using countless soaps, to drugs,I even got vitamin C supplements,but nothing changed.

Fast forward to highschool, this time my self esteem had really dropped.I never thought I was beautiful. I became this shy,quiet,insecure girl,which was never truly who I was.I never went out for school functions because I never believed I was beautiful enough.I could never out do the other prettier girls.(haha lies from the devil!)Coupled with other stresses my grades went down and I felt really hopeless. I went to see one dermatologist, who is really good,one of the best in Kenya actually, Doctor Maimba,at Doctor’s Plaza Kenyatta National Hospital,Private wing,who really helped me.(You can google him for more information) I actually started improving, but I had to stop because I couldn’t afford the treatment and at the same time I was in form 3 and fees was quite expensive. But the treatment actually worked because I remember after a week my friends from school actually started seeing the drastic change (There’s hope guys! 🙂 )

Fast forward again to campus(don’t get tired of the fast forwards lol 🙂 ) the same problem persisted.Those with acne know how weary it can make you because you’re constantly on the hunt for anything that can work,and not only work but work faster! My net history was full of acne remedies,home made acne recipes and such. I talked about it to my close friends, my mum has heard it all haha!All the while she’d tell me “No.It actually isn‘t that serious. You really shouldn‘t worry much about it“But somehow it still wasn’t enough

Besides that,the acne was on and off.There were times my face was actually not all that pimply,other times I felt like not going out till forever. Emotionally it really drained me.Roots can be deep.I remember after I stopped the treatment, I wouldn’t look at myself in the mirror.Even in campus.I’d hate even a glance at myself. I avoided anything that made me look at myself. I was ever insecure. The negative comments from people added salt to injury. I’d meet random people in town who’d ask “Nini mbaya na uso yako?”(what’s wrong with your face?)Sometimes I’d talk to someone and I’d see them really stare at my face in awe or wonder. I’d get free advice on skincare from anyone, random people I met anywhere.

But,I can’t really remember an actual turning point,but I remember telling my best friend who was really shocked because she hadn’t even noticed!Talk about love!haha!Thankyou best friend 🙂 .She later told me to pour out everything to God,the frustrations, pain everything which I did and I believe God did something. He healed me.

My confidence slowly increased, I could now look at myself in the mirror,I could even wear lipstick. I thank God for this,but I know some of you may think I’ve been on confidence level 1000 after that day.Well no.I’m not saying this to demean what God did.No.God actually did heal me I believe that completely

But,I wrote this post because sometimes we actually want things to be done how we want them to,but what if God has a different plan?Once in church we learnt about healing and the first step towards healing was ‘to abandon all forms of quick healing’This got me thinking about one word PROCESS. There are so many lessons we fail to learn simply because we don’t want to go through the process.We just want immediate results and quick solutions.

Well,the acne hasn’t gone away.I still have marks on my arms,chest.There are days Im really confident, others I avoid wearing clothes that show my arms or chest area.Sometimes I look for creams or ointments that may cover the blackheads, other times I don’t really care.I do take care of my face, I do home facials,I wash my face twice,I take lots of water, but not to do away with the acne,like before, I was very persistent and determined, but because I wanna take care of my body which is God’s temple.There are days I don’t do these things, but it seems like slowly by slowly I’m not bothered by it.God has made me understand that I am beautiful, with acne or not.I tell myself that every time after dressing up and every time the lies and insecure thoughts come up

Well,you may be battling acne or just something else that eats your confidence. There is hope.All hope is not lost. You can see a dermatologist but even if you are not able to,know that you’re value and worth is determined by God. He made you and in Genesis 1:31 He says that He looked at everything he had made and it was very good!!! So you are very good, spectacular, splendid,incredibly made regardless of what people or society say.God bless you