A LETTER TO MYSELF

 

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Dear Me,

Its been long since I sat down and wrote you a letter. I hope you are fine. Okay, I know you are not fine. I wanted to say that I am sorry for the many times I have put you down, the many times I have neglected you. I rarely have time for you. I hardly notice you, what you’re going through. I cannot remember the last time I sat down and congratulated you for who you are.

My time has been spent in looking at how inefficient and how unworthy you are. All I have done to you is reduce your value and equate it to other people’s achievements and successes. All I ever do is beat you down and talk about your weaknesses all day long.

I have never noticed how strong you are, how lovely you are. Those big, bright, beautiful eyes you have , that dark, silky, African hair or that lovely smile. I have never noticed how intelligent you are, how diligent and committed you are. I hardly know of your achievements.

I cannot remember the last time I took you out and treated you for some ice-cream or a wonderful pedicure. I cannot remember the last time you slept with contentment and satisfaction in who you are. I cannot remember the last time you appreciated your weaknesses, failures or inadequacies and used them as avenues for growth instead of beating you up. I hardly recall the last time you smiled at yourself, and realized life isn’t a competition; you don’t have to try so hard. You are uniquely unique. For all that and so much more, I am truly sorry.

I cannot take back the time that I spent looking down on you, neither can I take back the words I said to you, but I can fix it TODAY.I promise from now henceforth to look at you, to see you. I will love you, appreciate you. I will not undermine who you are or what you have. I will believe in you and be patient with you. I will treat you with respect and value you. But most of all I will never compare you with anyone else because you are incomparable. You are a masterpiece. Even when I fail, slip or make several mistakes, I will not condemn you. My nights will not be spent in looking at how unaccomplished you are, but how accomplished you are because you are a great person. You are beautiful, amazing and you are simply you. I love you.

With love,

From me,

Josphine Waithera Nduati

Cc: All those who struggle with themselves, who don’t believe in themselves and who undervalue themselves.

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